"If You Don't Know Me by Now" tracks the slow death of a relationship where communication has already failed. Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes recorded it in 1972 as a song about a man who has been trying to prove his love for so long that the effort itself has become evidence of failure. She still does not trust him. She still does not see him. After all this time, she does not know him. The sadder truth is that she probably never will. about the exhaustion of being misunderstood by someone who should know you better than anyone.